One Year On......

It's been exactly a year since my accident at Port Dickson. Around this time last year (2:30pm), the medical orderlies in Seremban General Hospital were injecting me with loads of numbing morphine (or whatever that 'happy' thing was), and preparing my plaster cast to immobilise my left hand.

The great guys from Trifam (Edkor, Blossom, Snail, Mythos, BK, SK, Smallcircle, etc) found me in Seremban through a chain of adhoc communications. Everyone thought I was in Port Dickson Hospital.

One year on and what has happened so far?

For one, I haven't been on the bike yet. I guess it's still a mental and physical barrier for me. The implants are situated right where I'm supposed to rest my arm on the aerobars, and there is still one more rod where my wrist is. Therefore holding handlebars (whether straight or curved) is not gonna be comfortable. The psychological barrier is also inevitable - I have developed a phobia. Much as I would like to dispel my fears, it is still very real. Sometimes I think about how a simple fall like that could result in such damage to my hand, and I still cannot fathom its complexities. The very nature of its simplicity and 'freakishness' just scares me no end.

What am I to do? Start on the trainer? Well, I've managed to get the Tacx Satori but I've yet to install it. And I've taken my bike back from John and had it cleaned up at Choonwei's Bike Boutique. My bike is certainly waiting for me to get back on the saddle.

Then I haven't taken part in any major races as well. No triathlons or duathlons for me. But I've done the Navy Biathlon and Masters Swim, and registered for some runs and also the Frog Race. In terms of weight, I've probably gained back some 5kg just because my trainings aren't as intense and frequent as a year ago.

Besides physical training, what is my mental mantra now?

I've pretty much turned to being inspired by my peers around me, and in turn inspiring them by keeping up the faith in myself. If I cannot bike, I could still swim and run. If I'm not going to race, I could still attend the events and cheer my peers on. If I can be inspired by the determination and smiles on everybody's faces (even if they are physically challenged), I'm sure I can inspire those around me too.

No pain, No gain. How true. Dad once painted an oil painting for me some 10 years ago. I brought it to the US with me when I studied and worked there. Ironically, it depicted 2 cyclists racing against each other. The inscription was "No Pain, No Gain". I never thought of cycling or racing for that matter. Triathlon was just wowed upon with awe. But on hindsight, this mantra stuck with me. It is so appropriate, even now.

Without the pain from falling, would I have gained a different mindset to take stock of my physical abilities?

What's next on the road ahead?

Singapore Bay Run. I hope to complete a half marathon for this series since I promised to do so with Maunsell last year but had to pull out because I was still fresh out of surgery. Meanwhile I'll try to gather colleagues to start challenging themselves because they've been working too hard and too late in the pursuit of deadlines and whimsical fancies of some bosses and architects. They need to rediscover themselves.

Get on the bike trainer.

Move one step at a time; continue to rediscover myself as well!