Join Me for Next Training
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Article here: http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/STIStory_242183.html
The reporter from 'my paper' didn't do justice to Linda, who attempted to climb Mt Everest but had to give up because it seemed that she was running into physical difficulties. In any case, perhaps both reporter and editor should be sacked for bad English.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Check out the extreme lumpiness of the melted chocolate. We had to dilute the thick chocolate slosh to make it seem liquidty. Hmmm.. come to think of it, we never got to find out from Olga if 'gayachaya shukalat' was really a typical russian beverage (or is it a dessert?).
And as for 'Pectopah'? The signs were everywhere, and we always went to 'Pectopah' for our food. Our english phonetics would pronounce it as 'pack-toh-pah', but seriously.... 'Pectopah' is pronounced as.... 'res-tau-rant'. Really.And I thought foto-mat meant self-portrait?
The other article is a long standing debate between Chee Soon Juan and the Lees (MM and PM). From the way the newspapers report about the court scene, it seems that Chee is having a field day airing his political views (which by the way, don't seem to be relevant to the defamation case against him).
Moral of the stories: Don't anyhow threaten anybody with stupid words!
Dang! It was the guy sitting next to me. Let's call him 'TOF'. Sounds villian enough? TOF stands for The Oral Farter. His breath (oh God have mercy) can paralyse anyone within a 10m radius. Trust me, it's been tried and tested at the cinema near you.
Every move TOF made, his breath reeked of gum disease. Small jokes during the movie? TOF's giggles could send the film censors to rethink the rating for Iron Man. Yes, PG means Periodontal Gum-disease, and not Parental Guidance (although parental guidance is strongly advised - Please teach your children to brush their teeth!).
Yours truly, The one and only Ironmunn, writhered in silent agony. I was hoping so bad that the guy up at the movie projection room would stop the screening and put on an ad for Chlorets or at least Mentos. Dammit, if projector room guy had a Baygone or Sheltox commercial, all the better!
The Breath was so bad that I was mistaken to be the culprit. Indeed, JQ thought that it was ME who had the sudden case of rotten teeth probably caused by the acidic reaction of an earlier meal of thai green curry and sambal kangkong. Alas, it wasn't me coz TOF was overpowering. Yes, The Breath actually permeated through the fabrics and every other molecular cell within me, and hit JQ hard on her face!
I just sat on my 4th row seat fixated by an invisible epoxy made up of peripheral bad breath molecules that chemically bonded with stale cinema air. Heck, I couldn't even fall asleep during boring scenes!
TOF was so powerful that the left side of my face felt as if it was melting after being shot by ammunition from Stark Industries. Sure, someone tell me about Virtual Reality!
On several occasions, I thought I had garnered sufficient taiji energy to vaporise TOF into a heap of rotten cinema popcorn. Then I remembered that stale popcorn smelled like.... well... stale popcorn. At other times, I just felt like shouting at TOF to redeem his cinema ticket for a lifetime supply of Colgate and Phillips Electric toothbrushes. Yeah, and then set TOF on a wild goose chase. Can you imagine a ordinary looking man running around the mall and asking people for directions to the Colgate and Phillips redemption point... yeah, and dig the fact that here's some dude with excruciatingly caustic breath asking for toothpaste?
TOF ought to be banned from cinemas. No... wait. He should be annihilated by The Justice League. Darlie toothpaste should work with major disinfectant companies to produce anti-TOF agents to prevent offspring of TOFs.
At the end of the day, The Oral Farter won. How did he impact the world? The Ironmunn felt so sick after the movie that he actually rushed to the toilet. Yep, you guessed it: The Breath was so horrific that it induced the Ironmunn to purge!
Someone's gotta save the world from TOF! Help!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Okay, I'll restart my engines. Hang in there.... and stay tuned.