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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Singaporean Things That Just Don't Make Sense - Part Three of Infinity

The Munn Theory of Vroom

I've noticed - very obviously - that there's this recent phenomenon of duh-looking drivers behind big beyond-2.0 litre-luxury cars. What makes it worse is the almost dumbfounding efforts these drivers make to maneuver their juggernauts.

I see huge Mercedes' with drivers who cannot seem to fit in ergonomically with their ergonomically designed cars. Benzes now come with puny geek drivers who have their seats in the full forward position and leaning TOWARDS the steering wheel. This is not what I see on the car commercials with leather seats that scream SIT BACK AND RELAX!

What about those 7-series beamers that take ages to park despite the advent of reverse sensors and parking mirrors? Bet you have experienced them within the last 2 weeks or so. Rest assured, they are an increasing lot - these dumbasses.

Then how about the Lexus shmexus owners? They drive as if they are the kings of the road. But they really are the Ass of The World - especially when they try to hide their Toyota sheep in Lexus wolf clothes. FAKES! PRETENDERS! SMALL BALLS!

I initially wanted to postulate about the proportionality of car size with testicular/penile size but because of the Women's Charter, i decided to use brain size instead.

Hence, The Munn Theory of Vroom states that the physical size of private car is inversely proportional to the actual cranium size of car owner.

Let "Private Car" be known as "Car", or c
and "cranium" size be "Brain", or b.

Hence, in theory: c = 1/b

Ah, you might have noticed that there might have been a slight tinge of flaw here. I mentioned earlier about testicular size (T) and brains (b) and cars (c).

T is not related to c if c is in its purest form - that is, if c is not modified.

T will become disproportionately smaller the more c is modified. Get it? This relationship is not linear but can be said as negatively exponential. However, an interesting thing occurs as T tends towards zero. In this case, c can either be at the purest form (for women - at T=0 - don't know anything about car modifications) or c could be totally pink and flowery.

How about the relationship between T and b?


Whelan said...

Hey like wassup man discovered ur blog hehe

Chelonia Munnster said...

wah lau eh..... how you discover my blog one? jialat.. hee hee.. so you going training tonight? you driving?

Whelan said...

piang u tink wat haha i just got my licence a few days ago haha havent even passed the next big test - father's probation..

Anyway, don't noe if I got ot, will go if i can.. getting fat man haha im like 75 liao haha

and as for ur blog, I felt it through the Force.. No lah tgp lah